Three Pimps and a Crack Whore: 03/01/2002

Friday, March 29, 2002

Great Job!! You win a LAMP!! (Cap- I'm revoking your lamp privileges, this question was way harder :-) )
Snoochie Boochies!

Thursday, March 28, 2002

What english speaking island is known as the "land of wood and water"?

Wednesday, March 27, 2002

God I wish I had written this....

Scene INT. Factory Warehouse: The Avenging Disco Godfather his high on PCP. His hallucinations are getting worse. He sees a moderately obese woman with a fifth of JD in her hands.

Avenging Disco Godfather: I hate you aunt Betty! I hate you aunt Betty!! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

Avenging Disco Godfather turns and runs down the stairs.

Scene INT Factory Floor: Police Chief and Bucky are running around beating up random thugs when they enter the room. There they see the Avenging Disco Godfather strangling the PROMINENT BUSINESS MAN.

Avenging Disco Godfather: You're not my momma! You're not my momma! You're not my momma!!

The business man is dead. Bucky and Police Chief run to stop him.

Bucky: Uncle Tucker! It's me Bucky!

Avenging Disco Godfather: Bucky, when did you get out of the hospital?

Bucky starts to inexplicably cry.

Bucky: It's all my fault Tucker, it's all my fault.

Police Chief: It's alright Tucker, it's alright. (to cop OS) Call an ambulance, we have to get him to a hospital.

Avenging Disco Godfather: (Hysterical) Get your hands off me! You're not taking me nowhere!! There's nothing wrong with me!! There's nothing wrong with me!! Take your hands off of me!!

Avenging Disco Godfather screams like a woman.

CUE SHITTY DISCO MUSIC

ROLL END CREDITS.

Scene EXT. Outside Factory -- DAY: The Avenging Disco Godfather is fighting thugs when suddenly he falls down. A RANDOM PEDESTRIAN enters the scene. He is dressed in a light blue running suit with a white towel around his neck.

Random Pedestrian: Hey man, what's going on. Do you need help?

Avenging Disco Godfather: This an Angel Dust Factory.

Random Pedestrian: Angel Dust?

RANDOM PEDESTRIAN grabs a thugs arm.

Random Pedestrian: Let's kick ass then.

Avenging Disco Godfather: I can dig it.

Saturday, March 23, 2002

you lead me away from home, just to save ya from being alone...

Thursday, March 21, 2002

Oh pimps and crackwhores, i have neglected you for too long. I offer this statement as payment... "I once tied my own shoes. And let me asure you, it is a completely overrated experience."

-Jon

Wednesday, March 20, 2002

But that don't worry me none, in my eyes you're everything....

The mornin sun, when it's in your face, really shows your age.....

Oh Maggie I couldn't have tried anymore.

Monday, March 18, 2002

"....maybe it came with the cigar..?!!"

"SHUT CHO FAHKIN MOUT --- DONT MAKE ME COME UP DARE!!"

"YOU FAHK UP!"

"yea fahk you too cab driva!"

".....three Michigan college students died today after a Chinese Fire Drill in the center lane on 90. A fourth was found in the driver's seat of the vehicle screaming 'fuck! Do I go or do I stop? WHICH WAY?!!'"

"so....hey do you go to raves?"

"Indiana liquor stores are closed on Sundays. And..sorry the powerball thing closed at 8."

"I need to stop to pee every three exits."

"you like the yellow lane in the MIDDLE of your car, don't ya?"

"Can you turn left here?"

"whoa .... hey he doesn't look happy" -------- "do you think he got into an accident?" ------- "NO HE'S GOING THE WRONG WAY ON A ONE WAY STREET!!"

"let's go all the way to the top.....(on the 6th floor looking down)......coool......ok let's go back down now"

"ok what do I have to do to get some Perocet?!!"

"awe thanks......here's ten dollars for food." :-)

Thursday, March 14, 2002

I laughed at all of your jokes....my love you didn't need to coax...

Sunday, March 10, 2002

Mirror

Tuesday, March 05, 2002

No seriously. I have no idea what you're talking about :-)

Monday, March 04, 2002

Cap-N-Jack, he's our hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero!!

Wait a minute. I don't get it.

Sunday, March 03, 2002

Next time Ryan T and Jackie hang out, I'm singing that Billy Joel song...

"Cap and Jack will get you high tonight...
and take you to your special island
Cap and Jack will get you by tonight...
just a little push and you'll be smiling"

Although the song is all about masturbation. Still, I think at least I would get a little chuckle out of it.

Thank you Ry, Nopa, Yerty, Sobe, Jellybeem and Bum!!! I had a kick ass time this weekend!! I love you guys!!!

Saturday, March 02, 2002

Shit Jack... wait until you're 21. Then there will be a par-tay. :) As it stands, it's 2am and you guys are in Canada or at Ryans uncle's place or something. I hope you're all having a blast. I'll hold the fort here in Kalamazoo, seeing as Jon is gone to parts unknown, you guys hit Windsor, Laura's in Florida.... shit dude, it's me and Marcy and Jess. Unless Jess went home.... hmmm... oh well. Hope you guys went to Jokers. I love that place. Peace hombres.

Friday, March 01, 2002

I love you guys! Thank you so much! Cap, Bum, Muzzie, Nopa, JoFish, Robbie, Foster, Lebunia, Marcy.....Everyone, THANK YOU!!!

Oh, JoPhish- My apologizes for not believing you last year...you were right, thank you. :-) (-:

Froliche Geburtstag Fraulein LaDuke. Have a great time in the great white north. Now take off... hoser. (German to Canadian in one line. Go Joe.) Happy birthday Jackwhore. Told ya we'd do it up. :)

On a separate note... why do smiley faces always go this way... :) instead of this way (: ? Weird.....

Three Pimps and a Crack Whore