Three Pimps and a Crack Whore: 11/01/2001

: : Jackie LaDuke 9:20 AM

I'm always workin' slavin' every day
Gotta get away from that same old same old
I need a chance just to get away
If you could hear me think this is what I'd say

Don't need nothin' but a good time
How can I resist
Ain't lookin' for nothin' but a good time
And it don't get better than this

Yo JonJon, did we ever talk about doin somin for New Years this year??? Oh sweet jesus, we're only a month away.

Whiny bitches.....

To all the people who can quest like the tribe does,
Before this did you really know what live was,
Comprehend to the track for us why cause
Gettin mentions on the tip of the vibe buzzz,
Rock and roll to the beat of the funk fuzz
Wipe your feet really good on the rhythm rug
If you feel the urge to freak do the jitterbug
Come and spread your arms if you really need a hug
Afro centric living is a big shrug
I like filled with **** that's what I love
I love the plateau is what we're above
If you diss us we won't even think of
We’ll nipper the dog and give a big shove
This rhythm really fits like a stunt glove
Like a box of positives it's a plus love
As the tribe fly’s high like a dove........

Yo Can I kick it????!! Well I'm gone..... :-)

heh heh, i'll help with the magnets... :) heh heh
-Jon

magnets?

just a couple comments on recently read blogs... all of them are blogs of people who contribute to this site, though none of them were postings to this site. one: burp is not spelled berp. two & three: ladies... good luck with the roommate contract thing. if you need someone to regulate... just gimme a call... i'd love to scare the shit out of that 12 yr. old she-male... heh heh...

-Jon

hey folks... just wanted to say have a happy turkey day and don't eat spam... catch ya'll later

you know what they say about a guy who likes watching paint dry... he likes breathing fumes...........

1. Adam West is a god. George Clooney was NOT batman (he's a doctor and it should stay that way.) Val Kilmer was decent but he's more of a dec lingual, work for the government, smooth criminal kinda guy. Micheal Keaton is just an awesome multi-character guy. If they all fought this is what would happen: Adam West would step up to all three and go "what?! you wanna go bizznatch?!" then Val Kilmer would look at him and go "d'accord .... nous allons cyka" then they would start goin at it.....then Micheal Keaton would jump in a lepard thong and go "what the hell?!" and save Kilmer's sweet ass....then Keaton and West would start hittin each other with steel chairs and shit and then West would be like "WWHHHHAAA" and drop Keaton with a hit to the chest then he'd get up pretending nothing happened then West would go to clock him and Keaton would grab his arm and twist it then kick him in the side....then West would drop to his knees, grab Keatons leg, and pull him down and crank him in the nose, rip off the rubber mask and throw him into a fountain.......all the while Clooney is in the corner playin with needles and injecting himself with morphine he stole from the ER......West wins yo.

2. Alf dude. ET's got nothin on ALF. ET's a buddy that has a glowy finger not a fighter. Alf is just cool he could knock ET out with his vegynormus nose. Plus Alf can walk around and stare at people with his super huge eyes that would just be a little freaky.

3. Bigfoot's just got a big feet. Chewbacca would go "OOUUUAAAA", hit his chest and whoop some "is bigfoot really real" ass. Then chewy would rip off the thing around his chest and tie the bigfoot's arms to his sides.....then he would shake his hand in front of his face, go "EEAAAOORRAA" and clock biggy. But see bigfoot's supposedly mean so bigfoot would break out of the restraints and bite chewy's arm......then chew would be like "that's it, I was in Star Wars" but he really wouldn't say that in english--more in bacca language--but he would say that then punch footy in the face cause he didn't get off his arm.....so it was chewy all along.

4. Yikes. I guess Dr. Lector. Even though Dahmer chopped up his victims, at least Hanny wouldn't waste food. Morbid? yes, but if I had to choose, it would be Hannibal Lector. Dahmer would just freak out and start choppin everything then Lector would be like "wanna listen to some music" and he'd get all intelligent and shit and just totally drive Dahmer crazy........although lindsay smith says it would be Dahmer cause he's real....I still think Lector.

5. Keyser Soze vs. Gabriel oooo good one joey.....hmmm i think it would be a good match....I don't know if Keyser could convice Gabriel that he's someone else cause gabriel I think is that freakin good.....plus would soze even know that that was the "real" gabriel?? Gabriel's all about misdirection and Soze's about disguise which Gabriel has already accomplished several times over so......Soze misdirected with a fake story made up of names he saw on a cork board whereas Gabriel misdirected with fake bodies and actual dental records...hmmm i think they could definitly hurt each other but no one would know if it was actually them. I think Gabriel is awesome but Keyser is slightly awesomer.

A few more Prize Fights... who's got the win?

THE BATTLE OF THE BATMEN
Michael Keaton's vs Val Kilmer's vs George Clooney's vs Adam West's Batman.

E.T. vs Alf.

Bigfoot vs Chewbacca (No Weapons)

Hannibal Lecter vs. Jeffrey Dahmer

Keyser Soze vs. Gabriel (Swordfish)

BTW we oughta change the name of this place now that our amount of crack whores increased to 200% its original capacity.

I'm so happy there is another whore here.......all work and no play makes Jack a dull whore....

I want to invite another whore to the circle, but I don't have her e-mail address... someone, please... tell me what it is... I am, however, going to put a link to her personal blog over on the side... so now we have, JackWhore, and JenWhore... :)

-Jon

Rogue and Mystique... I say Rogue. One, even if Rogue touching Mystique wouldn't kill her, as JoePimp point out. It would still have an adverse effect on Mystique. Therefore, this has to be a nude fight. For Rogue to really win, she has to strip to her birthday suit, weaken Mystique by rubbing her pert littl... well... you get the idea... weaken Mystique, then beat the living crap out of her.

Storm and Jean Grey. Dunno, depends I guess. Does Jean get the headstart to jump into Storm's mind? And is it Storm, or Halley Berry as Storm? Cuz, Berry would get her cute little tush whuped on. But the real Storm would put up one hell of a fight. If Jean had a slight headstart, she'd win, coma, whatever. If Storm had a head start she'd win, lighting the hell out of her. If they started at the same time, they'd both die. But, I think this one really needs Strom Thurmond. Don't know why. But I think he'd be entertaining as hell in there.

Shawn Michaels and Mick Foley. This is tough. But, I'm putting my money on Dude Love. I mean, don't get me wrong, the Heart Break Kid is great... but... he's got back problems. And Foley would be able to take advantage of that fact. Plus, yes, Foley can take a beating like no other man alive. What does this mean? If he chose to, he could alow the HBK to kick the living snot out of him until he was tired, then Foley would break out the thumbtacks and handcuffs. Foley in the end, but he'd be hospitalized for a while.

Superman vs. Batman is questionable. But which Batman is not the only question. Which Superman? Dean Cain? Cartoon? Reeves? (I'm not even going to bring up the comic. Cuz then we'd have to think, old Superman, new Superman, Superboy, Steel, etc, etc, etc) The guy from the old black and white TV show that was entirely too pudgey to be seriously considered a 'super' man? Cain: He'd loose. He'd be like, "OH look, its Batman, lets fight... wait... Teri Hatcher... mmmmm... Teri Hatcher." And it'd be all over. Cartoon, he'd avoid the fight with a fellow superhero in the first place, being all rightous and all. But if it came down to it, he'd loose. I mean, seriously, we are talking about the Superman that has to wear a space suit. Looser. Reeves. Oh, Reeves would beat the living bejesus out of any Batman alive. This is the Superman who dealt with Lex Luthor played by Gene Hackman. That man was evil. He fought the clone of himself. AND WON! And he had a really average looking Lois Lane. He dealt with a lot. He'd win. And Adam West is a tool.

Spiderman and Magneto. Now, three months ago, I would have completely agreed with Mr. Parcell. Right now, I'm torn. See, the new Spiderman (Toby Macguire), doensn't actually have mechanical webshooters. Its part of his mutation. At first he makes a device that he wears to help him control it, but that quickly gives way to him being able to control it on his own. I say, it'd be a draw. Spidey would web the living hell out of Magneto, but Magneto would bludgen the shit out of Spidey. I think that Spidey would die, but Magneto would quickky suffocate afterwords.

-Jon

Rogue and Mystique would be tough, because Mystique is really Rogue's mother. In fact, it was Mystique who gave Rogue the ability to fly, and her super strength because she touched Mystique for so long that it actually stole the power from her. But, seeing that Rogue already touched Mystique to get these powers, and Mystique survived, I gotta say that the blue babe wins it.

Storm and Jean Grey. I'm sorry Ryan, Jean would win in a heartbeat. All she'd have to do is go inside Storm's mind and shut off her powers, maybe even drop her into a coma. (She did this to Magneto, long enough for the X-Men to rescue Xavier from Genosha, and during the confusion afterwards, Wolverine killed him.)

Shawn Michaels and Mick Foley... This is kind of tough. The Heartbreak Kid, and Cactus Jack... I gotta go with HBK on this one. Both were at one time WWF commisioners, but Michaels was the first "grand slam" champion (WWF Champ, Intercontinental Champ, European Champ, and Tag Team Champ... This was before the Hardcore Championship.)_ While Foley is the King of Hardcore, this just means he gets his ass kicked better than anyone else. Shawn Michaels, but he'd have to use a steel chair.

Superman vs. Batman it questionable. Which Batman? While Superman could kick Keaton's, Kilmer's and Clooney's ass all together, Superman wouldn't have a snowballs chance in hell against Adam West. West's Batman would reach into his utility belt and pull out his Bat Anti-Krypton spray, and Superman would drop like a fly. Robin would say "Holy Kryptonite Batman." to which Batman would reply, "Yes, Robin. Too often we choose to let aliens live among us, taking enegry from our yellow sun. Let this be a lesson to us all."

Spiderman would not stand a chance against Magneto. What can Spiderman do? Climb on walls, hit people really hard, and shoot spiderwebs. La di freakin da. Magneto would pull Spidremans web shooting devices off his arms, (They're made of metal) and Spiderman would be as effective as Hulk Hogan against a freight train. He'd still be kind of a tough man, but he'd very quickly be a dead tough man.

Who's got the win?!

Rogue vs. Mystique
Storm vs. Jean Grey
Shawn Micheals vs. Mic Foley
Superman vs. Batman
Spiderman vs. Magneto

...or Pitfall. Which I'm convinced is the greatest game EVER. Keep your BFG-10K's and your Bullet-time slo-mo. Away with your Gran Turismo's and Half-Life's. Be gone with your Diablo's and your Tekken Tag Tournaments. I can't be bothered with your Devil May Cry's, your Metal Gear Solid 2's or your Halo's. If you need me, I'll be jumping on aligator heads.

bring it out... but only if you have asteroids... best game ever based on vector graphics... cept maybe the tron motorcycle game.

Dude I still own the Atari system......I have a shit load of old games too

My sentiments exactly.......

BlogBuddy is good... BlogBuddy is great... BlogBuddy lets me update w/out having to web-page it... IBlog Buddy is a small program that lets me update my blogs from a program rather than having to go through the website... heh heh heh... good stuff, eh?)

i always thought that it was rowdy rody pipper from wwf. that was way back in the 80's so... i don't know, the movie could've gotten it from him... or, if the movie was older... he would have gotten it from it. anyhoo, duke can suck an egg. :)

OK, now I have a question.... who actually was the first person to say Duke Nukem's famous phrase, "It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all outta gum."

Extra points if you can tell me the movie it was in.

Excellent guess my friend.....praise worthy.............it's Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Alice in Chains and Soundgarden.

Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains and Blind Melon. (Just a guess)

In 1992, what four bands, all out of Seattle, scored fame and fortune after radio's refused to play them?

Holy shit motha fuckin yoda and shit.....we just got up on stage as Jay and Silent Bob and sang Jungle Love. Holy shit.

Three Pimps and a Crack Whore

Wednesday, November 28, 2001

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Wednesday, November 21, 2001

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Thursday, November 15, 2001

Wednesday, November 14, 2001

Tuesday, November 13, 2001

Monday, November 12, 2001

Sunday, November 11, 2001

Wednesday, November 07, 2001

Monday, November 05, 2001

Friday, November 02, 2001

Thursday, November 01, 2001

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